Before I recount all of the stories that make me (and likely some Social Services Workers) cringe, I feel it necessary to share some of my better memories of the last few years. These are a few of the things that I will carry in my heart forever.
1) Nature's Paternity Test- Both of my children emerged from me looking just like their father. Yep. Two red-faced screaming miniatures of the man I love. Seeing the little clones just made me love him more. Hearing that they looked nothing like me may have contributed to postpartem depression.
2) The weight of a newborn- Is there anything better really than the floppy seven or so pounds that molds to your arms as you cradle? The floppy little person that folds over your hand to be burped is the future president, playground bully, music sensation or circus clown. The tiny being nuzzling at the breast and gazing with googly eyes is yours. They were mine, and that desire to hold and love must be the baby fever I've been warned about.
3) Hiccups- There's a moment that comes to many pregnant moms. The rhythmic jumping in your belly. Once the initial alarm passes, you realize that you're feeling your baby hiccup in the womb. Aww. How cute right? These same hiccups infuriate these babies a few weeks later. We learned the hard way at my house that you CAN NOT SCARE AWAY A NEWBORN"S HICCUPS! James was fussing through a bout of hiccups while his dad was holding him and gazing at him, powerless to help. The next thing I knew Dustin had yelled "agh!" and James was squalling. The hiccups didn't go away and I may or may not have threatened divorce over that one.
4) Baby Hair- First of all, if it were possible to pray to curls onto your children I would have done so. I asked. Repeatedly. The downy soft hair that children are born with is truly an incredible substance. When mine were little, I loved to just rub it all over my face. The tickling, fine, soft as goose-down hair does go away. Now my children have hair just like their Daddy. Course, straight, blond big-kid hair. It's better for ponytails and such, but man I miss the soft stuff.
5) Fingers, Feet and Baby Butts!- The sum of the parts is an adorable baby. The parts themselves are wicked cute! I remember trying my best to memorize the wrinkles on the little hands and feet and the way their remarkable nails were so perfectly formed in miniature. The way the tiny hiney fit in my hand, and the scary stump of a belly button are things I just don't want to forget. Ever.
I could write on and on about the things I want to remember. The heartbreaking reality is that I'm sure there is so much that I've forgotten already. The calmness of gazing at a new baby lying between my husband and I has fast been replaced by a toddler and a preschooler that are anything but calm. There are, however, little moments when they are asleep that there is a trace of the babies that were and that makes me wonder. Will I always look at my children and see those downy-haired, cherub-cheeked, googly-eyed infants? Will I remember them curled up in my bed when they smell like hormones and slam their bedroom doors? I sure hope so.
No comments:
Post a Comment